 |
| Mystical Musical Meditations in Jerusalem |
ABOUT MY COUNSELING APPROACHES
1. Forgiving Oneself
Dear G-d,
I have a person I am working with, one who I am trying to heal, and it seems that no matter what I do a block remains. That is, until I chanced upon what I think is the essence of the problem, which is that this person will not forgive herself for a mistake, as she calls it, that she made a number of years back. It was a mistake that changed the entire nature of her life.
I said that I understood in these days of forgiveness, these High Holy Days during which we ask G-d’s forgiveness, it would be good time for her to forgive herself. I asked her if she could forgive herself, and for the first time, I hope, I noticed a breakthrough, a softening, an acquiescence in the fact that there might really be something to this idea. If she can forgive herself for what she calls a mistake, years ago, then she could begin again, she could start afresh, she could get on with her life.
My question to you, G-d, is this – in these days of forgiveness, we say Selichot, we ask for forgiveness, our Teshuva, our Yom Kippur, these are all about saying, “I’m sorry, forgive me.”
So, I’m asking you, can we begin the process by forgiving ourselves first? Would this be a wise way for us to come back to you, to do teshuva?
Dear Yitzchak,
I want you to know that the Holidays, the Teshuva process, the personal inventory of your lives, your prayer services, your Torah learning, your Jewish observance, everything that you do under the banner of Judaism is all about your relationship with Me.
And, just like in a human relationship, there is a give-and-take; there is a mutual reflection in the way the people relate to each other. For example, the more a person is loving and caring, the more he or she will receive it in return. So, too, in your relationship with me.
Love propagates love, and honesty propagates honesty, etc. When you or anyone else forgives themselves for something they did wrong, some mistake they made, something they feel guilty, anxious, fearful or bad about, what does that have to do with their relationship with Me?
Forgiving oneself awakens a person to the power and the truth of what forgiveness is all about. Why are you saying, “I’m sorry?” Why do people apologize to others? Because they want to be forgiven, and they want to be free from whatever is keeping them from cultivating the best possible relationship.
I want you to forgive yourselves first before asking for my forgiveness. Because, once you have forgiven yourself, then, ironically enough, you will be able to truly see what you need to fix and exactly what you need to ask Me for forgiveness for.
I know it seems counter-intuitive and somewhat backwards, but it’s true. When you free yourself from those issues that have been stuck deep within you and kept you blocked, then when you free them up you can truly ask for my forgiveness, a forgiveness that is beyond your own personal forgiveness of yourself. It’s a forgiveness that transcends your own ability to forgive yourself, but the beginning of that process is to see what you are doing to yourself by not forgiving yourself. And then you can come to Me and ask for forgiveness.
The same thing is true in the Teshuva process of Yom Kippur and the 10 Days, regarding asking for my forgiveness for something you did wrong to someone else. You first have to ask for that person’s forgiveness, and then ask Me and I’ll forgive you. But you first have to clear up the clutter causing the disconnect between you and another person, and so, too, is it true between you and yourself.
Then, when you come and ask for my forgiveness it enables that forgiveness to be rectified and cleared-up in an easier and more thorough way.
2. Guiding People Based On My Own Life Story
Dear G-d,
I am a collector of the Highlights of my life. Recently I have been sitting and looking at events and accomplishments, times when I’ve been saved by You, the lessons I’ve learned, the guidance I’ve received, the mistakes I’ve made, the great things I’ve done, the knowledge I’ve gathered, etc. I am processing this information. I am teaching myself who I am, and thereby raising myself up from who I am to who I can be .
I’m trying to raise myself up from the full self-expression of Allness Being, to a person who is beyond that. I’m trying to raise myself up to the next level. That’s what I’m busy doing, all the time. My question is, can I teach others who have very different circumstances in their lives than the lessons I am teaching myself about myself? And, how effective will it be?
The same thing is true in the Teshuva process of Yom Kippur and the 10 Days, regarding asking for my forgiveness for something you did wrong to someone else. You first have to ask for that person’s forgiveness, and then ask Me and I’ll forgive you. But you first have to clear up the clutter causing the disconnect between you and another person, and so, too, is it true between you and yourself.
Then, when you come and ask for my forgiveness it enables that forgiveness to be rectified and cleared-up in an easier and more thorough way.
2. Guiding People Based On My Own Life Story
Dear G-d,
I am a collector of the Highlights of my life. Recently I have been sitting and looking at events and accomplishments, times when I’ve been saved by You, the lessons I’ve learned, the guidance I’ve received, the mistakes I’ve made, the great things I’ve done, the knowledge I’ve gathered, etc. I am processing this information. I am teaching myself who I am, and thereby raising myself up from who I am to who I can be .
I’m trying to raise myself up from the full self-expression of Allness Being, to a person who is beyond that. I’m trying to raise myself up to the next level. That’s what I’m busy doing, all the time. My question is, can I teach others who have very different circumstances in their lives than the lessons I am teaching myself about myself? And, how effective will it be?
Dear Yitzchak,
You know that in the processing the Highlights of your life, over the last year especially, that is precisely what you have been doing. Especially at the beginning of the year lasting approximately until Chanukah, you know that you have processed your life and you’ve sent it out by email to other people online, and live teaching as well. You said, “These are the unveiling goodnesses of my life, the lessons of my life. This is what I’m discovering about myself.”
Why did you send them out? Maybe, Yitzchak, you understand more than many others that the most powerful way to teach other people anything is to teach the things that resonate with you personally. Your personal life lesson to yourself and for yourself is the most valuable lesson you can give other people.
Sure, you can teach them all kinds of sayings of the Sages and sayings of the Mystics, but you know that words that flow from the heart are what go out and open other people’s hearts. Recently you’ve heard people verify that’s really what they want to hear from you.
You, yourself, are the one who said, when someone challenged you by asking, “Who is your target audience?” Then you came up with the idea that your target audience is yourself. And when you do target yourself in your journals, your self-revelations and processing of your Highlights, and you send that out, then touching your own soul is going to have the greatest effect on touching other people’s hearts and souls.
So, take all of that to a new level in this upcoming New Year and you will see an amazing response and results.
3. Non-Results-Dependency Well Being
Dear G-d,
I have a number of people that I’m counseling or teaching in my life who, I can clearly see, have their well being, their happiness and their peace of mind totally dependent upon results coming from their efforts. In other words, if there are good results, they are a good person. That’s the way they see life (and their self worth). Probably probably most people see it that way.
But there is something in my experience that teaches me otherwise. A long, long time ago I came onto the truth that it’s not about where you “get to,” it’s about the journey. I came upon the principle of transcendence, which teaches that if you understand that everything that comes your way is for your own good, is personally guided by the One Above, if you can truly see it that way then you are going to transcend and keep yourself high in every possible situation.
The question is, how can I convince other people of this ? I know this for a fact, but not in a way that is articulate enough to share it and to convince people who have a hard time hearing it. How can I communicate it?
Dear Yitzchak,
It’s true that most of the world, the great majority, believe, “the proof is in the pudding,” or in the results they can see. They believe that authority only comes from those people who declare that they have achieved X, Y and Z, meaning something solid to show for themselves.
But you and I know differently. You and I know that is only part of the picture. It’s important in and of itself, but it’s not the whole picture. You and I know that 99% of the business of living is the “getting there.” It’s the journey, the feeling you have on the path to accomplishing something. The accolades, the graduation honors, the accomplishments, the documents that people can claim, as important as they are, they do not reflect the much more all encompassing experience of “getting there.”
So, the people you are referring to, those who are in the greatest need of having belief, trust and peace of mind in the journey itself, as opposed to the results, the way to try and convince them of the importance of the journey itself is to reframe it. Help them see it in the reverse way, that the journey IS the results, and that the final result is only a very small part of it all.
You need to be able to show them, in their results-oriented frame of reference that the journey is 99% of their efforts, of their living, of their life. The journey is what really makes a difference for them in their life, and it is what jumping out of bed each morning with enthusiasm is all about, not the results. But you have to show them, with specifics, that the accomplishment IS the journey.
I know that you have the tools and I trust that you will be able to tap into those tools in showing them this truth with a lot of patience.
You know that in the processing the Highlights of your life, over the last year especially, that is precisely what you have been doing. Especially at the beginning of the year lasting approximately until Chanukah, you know that you have processed your life and you’ve sent it out by email to other people online, and live teaching as well. You said, “These are the unveiling goodnesses of my life, the lessons of my life. This is what I’m discovering about myself.”
Why did you send them out? Maybe, Yitzchak, you understand more than many others that the most powerful way to teach other people anything is to teach the things that resonate with you personally. Your personal life lesson to yourself and for yourself is the most valuable lesson you can give other people.
Sure, you can teach them all kinds of sayings of the Sages and sayings of the Mystics, but you know that words that flow from the heart are what go out and open other people’s hearts. Recently you’ve heard people verify that’s really what they want to hear from you.
You, yourself, are the one who said, when someone challenged you by asking, “Who is your target audience?” Then you came up with the idea that your target audience is yourself. And when you do target yourself in your journals, your self-revelations and processing of your Highlights, and you send that out, then touching your own soul is going to have the greatest effect on touching other people’s hearts and souls.
So, take all of that to a new level in this upcoming New Year and you will see an amazing response and results.
3. Non-Results-Dependency Well Being
Dear G-d,
I have a number of people that I’m counseling or teaching in my life who, I can clearly see, have their well being, their happiness and their peace of mind totally dependent upon results coming from their efforts. In other words, if there are good results, they are a good person. That’s the way they see life (and their self worth). Probably probably most people see it that way.
But there is something in my experience that teaches me otherwise. A long, long time ago I came onto the truth that it’s not about where you “get to,” it’s about the journey. I came upon the principle of transcendence, which teaches that if you understand that everything that comes your way is for your own good, is personally guided by the One Above, if you can truly see it that way then you are going to transcend and keep yourself high in every possible situation.
The question is, how can I convince other people of this ? I know this for a fact, but not in a way that is articulate enough to share it and to convince people who have a hard time hearing it. How can I communicate it?
Dear Yitzchak,
It’s true that most of the world, the great majority, believe, “the proof is in the pudding,” or in the results they can see. They believe that authority only comes from those people who declare that they have achieved X, Y and Z, meaning something solid to show for themselves.
But you and I know differently. You and I know that is only part of the picture. It’s important in and of itself, but it’s not the whole picture. You and I know that 99% of the business of living is the “getting there.” It’s the journey, the feeling you have on the path to accomplishing something. The accolades, the graduation honors, the accomplishments, the documents that people can claim, as important as they are, they do not reflect the much more all encompassing experience of “getting there.”
So, the people you are referring to, those who are in the greatest need of having belief, trust and peace of mind in the journey itself, as opposed to the results, the way to try and convince them of the importance of the journey itself is to reframe it. Help them see it in the reverse way, that the journey IS the results, and that the final result is only a very small part of it all.
You need to be able to show them, in their results-oriented frame of reference that the journey is 99% of their efforts, of their living, of their life. The journey is what really makes a difference for them in their life, and it is what jumping out of bed each morning with enthusiasm is all about, not the results. But you have to show them, with specifics, that the accomplishment IS the journey.
I know that you have the tools and I trust that you will be able to tap into those tools in showing them this truth with a lot of patience.
No comments:
Post a Comment